Shortlived Infatuations
by Meander Shovels
Summary: Ryoma, 15, successful in tennis, Ponta drinking and teaching Karupin somersault tricks. Pretty much everything, except her love life.
1. Chapter 1 Prologue

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**Summary::**

Ryoma, 15, successful in tennis, Ponta drinking and teaching Karupin somersault tricks. Pretty much everything, except her love life.

**A/N::**

'thinking about strawberries'

"talking about strawberries"

tQ to my darling beta-reader，Natura bestia!

* * *

_15 years ago..._

"Rinko! What are you doing?!" Nanjiro rose up from the couch with his porn magazine in hand, questioning his 9 months pregnant wife.

"I want that strawberry." Rinko pouted and pointed at the neighbor's backyard, which was a mixture of green, red, purple and yellow plant, she turned her head back to Nanjiro. Upon seeing the latest playboy magazine in her husband's hands, she placed her hands on her hips and screamed, "Put that stupid !#$-ing magazine away! AM I NOT PRETTY AND SEXY ENOUGH FOR YOUR EYES?!?! WHY MUST YOU LOOK AT Ms. December whatever-her-name!"

Trembling at Rinko's sudden outburst of emotions, Nanjiro threw the magazine into the fireplace, accidentally. He gasped, but didn't attempt to save poor Ms. December's face.

"I-I'd go buy you strawberries!" He said, trying to quickly back out of the house.

"No." Rinko closed her eyes, a smile tugged at the left corner of her lips.

"No..?"

"I want that." Rinko pointed to the strawberry in Mrs. Cauliflower's yard, "Nothing else, but that."

Nanjiro widened his eyes. Mrs. Cauliflower was... let's put it this way. She was the most frightening woman in the whole of CherryBerry lane. No one dared approach her, or invite her to gatherings, or to offer her some freshly baked chocolate chip cookies. No one, well, with the exception of Rinko.

3 years ago, Rinko and Nanjiro had moved to CherryBerry lane, next to Mrs. Cauliflower. A few days after they moved into the beautiful suburb, Rinko brought some homemade cookies over to visit Mrs. Cauliflower, her new neighbor. Upon ringing the door bell, she was met with a deadly glare, a distasteful look at her own special-recipe cookies and a door slammed right into her face.

But nonetheless, Rinko was obsessively attracted to the beautiful plump strawberries in Mrs. Cauliflower garden.

"Nanjiro..."

"eh?"

"Do I need to repeat myself twice?" Rinko narrowed her eyes, and set her lips into a straight line.

Nanjiro was out of the house.

"Be back in 5 minutes!" Rinko shouted after him, before proceeding to close her eyes and rub her swollen belly lovingly.

* * *

Nanjiro tapped his foot on the ground, sweat beading on his forehead. How was he supposed to get strawberries from a cranky old lady with a bad temper, secretive nature with an evil aura surrounding her all the time? But if he returned home WITHOUT those strawberries, Rinko will destroy all of his secret stacks of Playboy magazines, which took him MONTHS to collect.

Considering his options for a second, he decided that the latter will be worse. At most, he'll receive a shout and some dirty looks from Mrs. Cauliflower. While if it was Rinko, it might not only be burnt magazines, it may include no meals, no TV, no tennis... or even worse, kicked out of the house.

Smiling at his clever decision, Mr. Echizen Nanjiro held his head high, chest out and proudly walked into Mrs. Cauliflower's backyard.

* * *

Rinko popped the plump, red and fresh strawberry into her mouth. She closed her eyes. Nanjiro waited.

Furrowing her eyebrows, she popped another one into her mouth.

5 seconds passed...

"WHAT THE HECK IS THIS THING?!?! It tastes more like cardboard and glue!!! Take it away!" Nanjiro didn't have to; Rinko had already flung the bowl out the window.

At that exact moment, Mrs. Cauliflower decided that it was a (good) time to water her new strawberries. She took in a deep breath, savoring the cool and crisp air, and looked up.

_Splat._

"AHHHHHHHH!!!"

The silver bowl Nanjiro had placed the strawberries into hung like a "Bob the Builder" hat over Mrs. Cauliflower's white hair. She looked a sight; she did - With pink strawberry juice flowing down the sides of her head and her face, over her chin and onto her neck. A strawberry had fell on her foot too, tainting her $500 newly bought Giorgio Armani leather shoes. She took off the silver bowl gently, and looked up. Nanjiro shivered.

"Rinko! She's looking at us!"

"SO?"

"Well it's all because of your sudden obsession with her strawberries?!"

"You were the one who stole it!"

"Well YOU told me to-"

SLAM

Mrs. Cauliflower had went back home.

"Phew." Nanjiro let out a breath of air, wiping fake sweat drops off his forehead, "I thought she was going to pound us dead or turn us into toads or something."

"Not that fast, hubby." Rinko placed a hand on her belly, as she looked at Mrs. Cauliflower sneering from her kitchen window.

Mrs. Cauliflower sat fuming in her kitchen. Her precious super magical strawberries had been stolen. She was furious. But of course, Mrs. Cauliflower wasn't the Chief of Witches for nothing. She smirked, before proceeding to make her super magical Aozu Version 0.0267, which consist of fish intestines and other unsightly animal organs. AND cauliflower.

They were going to pay.

Oh yes they were.

* * *

Early morning next day, Mrs. Cauliflower stepped up onto the front porch of the Echizen residence. Holding a glass of pink bubbling liquid that gave off a terrible odor in one hand, she knocked lightly on the Echizen's front door.

_knock knock_

The door opened and she was instantly greeted by a half-dressed Nanjiro, half-awake and half in dreamland.

"Who?" He rubbed his eyes with one hand and blearily said.

"Hello Echizen-san." Mrs. Cauliflower smiled, while cackling evilly inside her head.

Upon hearing the old lady, Nanjiro quickly jumped up, "Mrs. Cauliflower!" He slowly backed away, while muttering, "erm.. do you need something..?"

"About yesterday..." the old woman began.

"I'm so sorry! Gomenasai! My wife wanted to eat those strawberries!" Nanjiro babbled on, "I told her not to but she said... Aiya... the strawberries wasn't all that nice anyway! Why would she want it anyway?!?!" Realizing he had just insulted Mrs. Cauliflower's strawberries, he put up both hands and went, "no... wait. no- that wasn't what I meant, i meant-"

"I totally understand Echizen-san." Mrs. Cauliflower smiled, her voice dripping sweet with honey.

'Pfuit! Echizen-san, the only reason I'm not reaching out and slapping you and your wife across the face is because I'd get into trouble with the cops if I did.' Mrs. Cauliflower screamed and flapped her arms. But of course she did not do that in real life, it all happened inside her head. Mrs. Cauliflower would **never** flap her arms in public, it is too ugly for her.

So instead, she smiled and went, "I totally understand, Echizen-san."

'Pfuit! ' Her inner self thought.

"You do?" Nanjiro relaxed, "That's great!"

"Yes, and I know how pregnant woman have sudden urges to eat certain food. So I brought over some cookies and my special formulated drink, Aozu! Specially created for pregnant ladies!"

"Really? That is so kind of you!" Nanjiro grinned and rubbed the back of his head with his hand, before reaching over and accepting the basket of cookies and glass, "Rinko would love these!"

"Oh, I'm sure she would." Mrs. Cauliflower laughed a bit too loudly, before turning away and merrily sauntering back to her house, an evil grin on her face.

And of course, Rinko couldn't resist trying anything new. She gulped down the entire glass of Aozu and finished all the cookies, crumbs and everything.

Rinko knows that the Aozu had an effect on pregnant women.

What she didn't know what that a) Mrs. Cauliflower was a witch, and b) When drunk by a pregnant woman, the baby inside her will develop some... disturbing strange hormones.

"Oh, that drink was beautiful! Do you think you can ask for more?" Rinko smiled and asked Nanjiro.

* * *

Reviews are appreciated.

No actually, they'll not only be appreciated. They will be loved, nurtured, treasured and forever cared for!


	2. Chapter 2 Naughty Children

Waahaha!

tQ to everyone who reviewed, be proud. You made me (jump), (scream), (run) around in circles, (scream) again, and (then) collapse into a heap of jelly onto the carpet.

(TQ SO MUCH!!!!!!)

And I've decided to co-write this story with Natura Bestia!!!

**but** she will be off to some vacation in the coming 2 months,

and quoting her, "They [meaning you, my darling readers] will have to deal with less-than-perfect grammar for awhile."

I could not agree more.

"talking about wasabi."

'thinking about wasabi.'

* * *

Ryoma stepped out from the plane, her tennis bag slung over her shoulder. She breathed in a deep breath of Japanese air…

"ACK! Wha-t!" She gagged and sputtered, almost tripping over her own feet.

Japan air, like she had thought, was indeed terrible.

But right now that wasn't the point.

The point is that her parents had kidnapped her and took her along for a flight from US to Tokyo. God knows how they smuggled a drugged 15 year old onto a flight, but of course, with those creative minds of Rinko and Nanjiro, anything is possible.

(_Flashback)_

"Anyone care to explain why I'm here and not in my bed?" Ryoma had pierced her parents with her deadly glare and questioned them when she woke up from her "beauty" sleep.

"Hmm… because Japan has Sakura trees?" piped Nanjiro, earning himself a smack across his head from Rinko.

"No darling," Rinko cautiously watched Ryoma for any reaction, "We're moving to… Japan!"

Under normal circumstances Ryoma would either go into a big tantrum or start a cold war upon hearing this type of news, but instead, her lips just twitched and she went, "Hn. Okay."

Truth to be told, she doesn't miss US. Well, maybe just a little. Just that Strawberry Smoothie shop and her own private tennis court – not that she had any friends back then anyway, seeing how anti-social she was..

But the real reason she didn't protest is that she still has Kevin's Nintendo DS. And she love Mario Kart too much to return the DS.

Meanwhile in San Francisco, a certain blonde haired Mr. Kevin sneezed.

(_End flashback)_

* * *

"Darrrling!" Rinko purred as she fussed around Ryoma, "look at that BEAUTIFUL house!" She exclaimed, clasping her hands together while her eyes shone with tears.

"Hn." Ryoma sighed at her mom's childish behavior, before getting out of the car and hauling her box of stuff into the new house. She only has one box of personal items, a few sets of clothes and her laptop. Her tennis bag was slung across her shoulder.

"Nanjiro! What are you staring at?!" Rinko turned and reprimanded her husband, who was staring at the new neighbor, a woman in her early 50s. The woman smiled, before making her way out of the house and into the front yard. She introduced herself as Mrs. Fuji, before inviting them over for dinner tonight

"I know you must be so tired and busy from the move! Come join us for dinner! We're having roast chicken."

"That would be awesome!!!" Nanjiro squealed like a little child and ran around 3 blocks before stopping to thank Mrs. Fuji.

"Ahem." Rinko cleared her throat. "Why, thank you for that BRILLIANT invitation. I'm sure we'll be attending your BRILLIANT dinner." Rinko set her lips into a strained smile and dragged a screaming Nanjiro back into the house.

* * *

Ryoma was putting on her shorts for the dinner when Rinko burst through her bedroom door, screaming, "RYOMA! Look what I found! Your grandma's old yellow mini-skirt!!!"

Ryoma sweatdropped, she didn't even know people back then wore (mini-skirts), much less yellow ones.

"That's okay mom, but I'm going to stick with NORMAL clothes. Now if you can please get out…"

"Ryoma! You're a girl! You need nice clothes!"

"Shorts are pretty nice." Ryoma commented, putting on a white cap onto her short hair, "You bought them for me."

"Yes, but-"

"Mom."

"Yea?"

"Get out. Please."

* * *

_ding dong_

The Echizen family was greeted by a 20-something year old lady, who politely introduced herself as Yumiko.

"Hello Yumiko." Nanjiro extended his hand, "Echizen Nanjiro, Samurai of Tennis! Likes beer, fishing, eating fish, fish and chips, beer, tennis and porn magaz-"

"Rinko here. Just call me Rinko. My husband and kid." Rinko said with a curt nod, before dragging Nanjiro into the Fuji residence.

"Hello." A voice spoke up from behind Ryoma, as a slim boy slid into his seat.

"Ah, that is my son, Syuusuke. And this is Yumiko." Mrs. Fuji smiled and introduced her children.

Ryoma looked towards her left, he seemed like a friendly boy, and quite handsome too. Fuji smiled at her. Ryoma felt her heart melt, her eyelashes flutter and her heart felt faint. Her left ventricle seemed to have stopped working from pumping blood to her brain.

But she quickly dismissed that thought. Because she knew, that it was impossible on account of her strange disease.

"Syuusuke-kun! Nice to meet you, a pretty young lad eh?" Nanjiro asked, before laughing at his own joke hysterically, until tears streamed down his face.

(Everyone ignored him.)

"Has anyone seen the latest news on Kage Mazzesae? He's getting married!" Rinko asked, as she broke off a piece of bread and munched on it.

"YES!!! How can he? Especially to such a stuck-up lady!" Mrs. Fuji shook her head, disappointed in the actor's taste in woman.

"YES!!!" Yumiko banged the table with her fist to show her support. Therefore, the 3 women kept to themselves for the rest of the evening talking about the famous 20 year old actor (like they were friends for life instead of five minutes).

Ryoma shook her head, as she absently mindedly dumped spoonfuls of salt onto her piece of roast chicken. She raised the chicken to her mouth…

'Fuji Syuusuke is a nice charming, gentlemen-'she thought, and internally giggled to herself.

"Holy Macaroni!" she spat out the mouthful of chicken.

"Is anything the matter?" Mrs. Fuji turned away from Rinko and asked.

"W-Water." She gasped, and quickly gulped down some coke.

Yumiko picked up the salt shaker and checked its content.

"Ah… I'm sorry, but it seems like we've accidentally placed pepper inside the salt shaker…" Yumiko raised her eyebrows at Syuusuke, who was clutching his stomach and choking back his laughter.

The next course was boiled broccoli dipped in cheese sauce, which Ryoma despised. While the adults were looking away, she quickly slipped all her broccoli into her napkin. Oblivious to Ryoma, Fuji was watching her from the corner of his eyes, chuckling quietly to himself.

"Excuse me, where is the toilet?" Ryoma stood up while holding the napkin loosely, making it seem like she forgot she was holding on to the napkin.

"Here, I'd show you." Mrs. Fuji brought her upstairs to use the toilet.

'The napkin trick huh?' Fuji chuckled as he quietly replaced Ryoma's coke with soy sauce. And an extra dash of super-hot-special-edition wasabi sauce.

Moments later, Ryoma came back, a small smirk on her face. She reached for her can of coke, and was shot by weird glances from Yumiko. Waving it off as eye seizure, she picked it up and took a gulp of it…

"AHHH! HOTTT AHHHH!!!" Ryoma ran around the table 3 times, before fainting.

"Save her! Save her!" Rinko ran around the table 3 times screaming.

"OH my! OH my!" Mrs. Fuji and Yumiko ran around the kitchen looking for the 20 pounds of ice they bought yesterday that was now missing.

"Oops." Fuji stared.

* * *

When Ryoma woke up, she found herself on a soft bed with silk sheets that was definitely not hers. She sat up in bed, and looked around, rubbing her eyes blearily. The room was decorated with … cacti. Big ones, small ones, tall ones, short ones. All very different, the only similarity being that they poke.

Her face was still partly red from the wasabi heat, and her head and palms were sweaty.

"Hello. You're up." Ryoma jumped at the voice next to her.

"Fuji Syuusuke." Ryoma glared daggers, swords, arrows and missiles at him, crossing her arms over her chest.

"maa, maa. Broccoli is good for your health." Fuji reasoned, or tried to at least, "Naughty children must be punished." He opened his mouth to laugh but was shut up by a kick in his gut.

"ow…" he clutched his stomach, half laughing, half crying at the intensity of the pain shooting through his abdomen.

Ryoma hated him already.

* * *

"He is a funny little kid isn't he?" Fuji asked Yumiko, who was busy ranting to Rinko.

"It's she-" Ryoma started, but quickly stopped.

'Fuji thinks I'm a guy?!'

'Speaking of which, it wouldn't be too terrible if I was actually one right…'

"HAHAHAHAHAHA!" Ryoma couldn't contain her laughter, it rang clear and loud throughout the whole house.

"Is something wrong?"

"No, nothing at all." She smirked.

*sighs* where is my touche? [I don't even know if I used this word right]. WRITERS BLOCK WRITERS BLOCK WRITERS BLOCK!

Sorry for the late update everyone! My struck of inspiration JUST happen on the first day of exams.


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